 A few months ago, Ian and I sat in our living room, praying together for a couple that we could build a strong relationship with. One that would just embrace us for the broken people we are and help us grow.
We wanted needed people to do life with.
Two days later, they knocked on our door, Megan and Justin, all smiles, with a gift of fresh-pressed apple cider. Talk about a quick answer to prayer.
It’s pretty awesome how God works, bringing the right people at the right time. These two have been a huge blessing to us. Our friendship has blossomed so quickly that I can’t believe we’ve only known each other for a few short months. And I can’t believe how alike we are. It’s just amazing.
When we met them, Ian was also reading through Waking the Dead (a fantastic book). The end speaks a lot about building a small, intimate community where you can grow and lean on each other.
The first time I read that book, I was sold on the idea. When Ian read that part to me a couple months ago, we both knew that it was time to start fostering that.
There’s something about doing life with other people that makes it so much better. We’re meant for relationships, for community. It is essential to our well-being and growth.
It’s hard to pick yourself back up when you fall. It’s hard to pull yourself out of a crappy mood. And it’s really hard to enjoy a day-long, epic grocery shopping trip by yourself. Trust me, I’ve tried.
But when you have other people to help you, the bad stuff isn’t as bad. And the good stuff is so much better.
Community.
I just love that word.
How have you been fostering community in your life? Join me and other like-minded people building community here.
Something happens when you begin creating new habits. You’re cruising along, seeing positive change, enjoying the momentum, when all of a sudden, something inside you rises up in opposition.
Fear slams on the brakes and says, “What the hell are you doing?! This is scary. And uncomfortable. Don’t change – things are fine the way they are.”
And it’s totally normal.
There’s a lot of momentum building in my life right now. I feel like I’m on the cusp of something huge. I’m so excited to run forward into what’s coming, knowing that whatever it is will be awesome.
But then there’s the resistance, trying to hold me back and convince me that maybe all of this change isn’t such a good idea after all. Maybe my old life, the rut, is a better place to be.
Sometimes I can fight this feeling pretty easily. I work on a small project, pray or create something beautiful. This usually clears the air and leaves me feeling ready to go again.
And there are other days when everything just seems daunting and insurmountable. Even changing a diaper (not the poopy kind) seems like a huge chore.
What then? What do you do to prevent from losing the momentum and sliding back into the Rut of Crappiness (insert title for what you’re moving out of here)?
I don’t know about you, but I have a few things that help. Things that I sometimes have to force myself to do because the resistance is so strong. (I wasn’t going to write a post with a list, but that’s just how my brain works).
Go outside – Soak up some sunshine and feel the wind on your face. Take in the beauty around you and give thanks for all you see.
Talk to a friend – Sometimes you just need to spill to a buddy. Find a listening ear to help you talk through your feelings and process what’s going on in your head.
Connect with God – Maybe you feel this resistance because things are out of balance, particularly this area. I know this happens to me. Pray. Read. Sing. Don’t ignore the spiritual side.
Enjoy some solitude – One of my greatest needs is alone time. I’m such an introvert. Lately, it’s been pushed aside as I work and enjoy the relationships I’m blessed to have. But as much as I love being with my loved ones, I still need time alone to recharge.
Get active – Exercise is such a great way to get motivated again. Make it something you enjoy like a brisk walk, hike, yoga or a bike ride.
Create something – Make something beautiful, be it a drawing or piece of jewelry. Use your hands to make something that makes you smile.
Help someone – One of the books we’re reading the kids had this awesome quotation: “If you can’t think of anything to do, help someone.” I think the same goes when you’re feeling resistance. Take the attention off of yourself for a bit and come back later with a fresh perspective.
Usually one of these will do the trick. Sometimes it takes two or three. And if you get through them all and still feel kinda blah, you’re probably so tired you can go to bed and wake up the next day feeling refreshed and energized. 
What do you do to fend off the resistance?
My history with herbal remedies began when I was pretty young. You see, I grew up on an herb farm, where my dad managed the growing and processing of herbs for a world-wide herbal wholesale company.
 The summers were great with the smell of peppermint filling the air. And Dad put a lot of those remedies to use. Teas, decoctions, poultices. All were used for a variety of ailments. And then there was his favorite – baking soda in water. I’m still not sure about that one. Though it does make a great shampoo.
When I was 16, I discovered a book called Ageless Natural Beauty. It was full of recipes for herbal beauty products and I soaked it up, trying as many of them out as I could. I loved it.
A few years ago, as I found myself heading quickly into a more natural lifestyle, I began learning more about herbs. An avid reader and researcher, I learned as much as I could about herbs and how they could benefit my growing family.
I quickly grew in self-confidence knowing that I was helping my family stay healthy. And I think it’s the coolest thing when someone asks me an herbal question and the answer pops in my head with thinking.
It wasn’t difficult to get there. I don’t have a degree in herbs – I taught myself with excellent resources, time and practice.
Read
If you want to know more about herbs, start devouring the information. Check your library and Google books for free sources. There are some really great websites out there as well. I’m particularly fond of this one. You can always buy books – my herbal references are some of the few physical books left in the house.
Follow recipes
Get to know your herbs by creating remedies with them. Several recipes are available free, like my Monthly Tea or Soothing Bath Herbs, that will help you get comfortable with using herbs. Choose simple ones that require few herbs.
Keep track of what works
Record what works best for you. If you find that plaintain works best for a dry cough, write it down. It’s good to know for next time. You’ll also remember what didn’t work, what needed tweaking and which ones your kids liked best.
Experiment
Once you have the basics down, start experimenting. Make your own small batches of teas based on what you’ve learned. There’s nothing quite like knowing that you created your very own herbal remedy recipe that works.
Keep it simple
It’s easy to become zealous over this new hobby and purchase pounds and pounds of herbs that will just sit in your cabinet. Oh wait, that’s me. Downside of super-easy access to quality herbs, I guess. In my experience, there are only 15 herbs that I need. Half of them are used on a regular basis, while the others stand-by for certain illnesses. But just 15. Wish I would have figured that out a few years ago.
Are you interested in knowing more about herbal remedies? My upcoming book, Simple Natural Health, has an entire chapter devoted to those 15 herbs I mentioned. It also has tips for buying herbs as well as detailed recipes and how-tos for preparing herbs. Be sure to join the newsletter for the latest news on the book.
I vividly remember the day that I needed to do something about my clutter. A sitter was coming over (one of the few times we’ve ever paid anyone to watch our kids – you’re lucky, Emily) and my house was a mess.
 Photo: FeatheredTar And to top it all off, there was a pile of papers and notebooks taking up half our table. So I did what I knew best – I made pretty, organized piles. Ha! I was embarrassed. I couldn’t use my table because there was so much stuff on it. And I couldn’t move it anywhere, because there was so much stuff everywhere else! It was a turning point.
I had to tame the paper pile beast.
It was daunting. What if I needed to keep some of it? What if I threw something away, only to realize later that I needed it? What if, what if, what if?
What if none of that happened?
It didn’t. Part of taming the beast meant letting go of fear. I was afraid that getting rid of this paperwork would ruin my life somehow. It’s silly, right? But come on, I’m not the only one who’s thought this. I let the paper control me, allowed it to dictate how my house looked. And I didn’t need to.
It took some time, on multiple occasions, to get through the piles. I went through every paper in my house. Ok, maybe not every paper. I eventually got to the point where I said, “I haven’t even looked in this file for two years, I don’t need it!” But they’re gone.
And I put a few systems in place to keep it from happening again. Because there are far better things to do than geting paper cuts from my oooooold tax returns.
Don’t let it come in
Prevention is the best method. If you’re constantly getting those catalogs from Oriental Trading Company, call them and ask them to stop. It takes just a few minutes of your time, but it works (usually).
Make all of your bills paperless so that they go straight to your inbox. It’s far less likely that you’ll lose them there.
Address it immediately
This was my most difficult habit to develop. The easiest way to combat paper clutter (after preventing it, of course), is to address it as soon as it comes in your house. And really, it only takes a few minutes.
Call the companies that need to be called to remove you from their lists, file pieces that are absolutely crucial to keep, digitize what you need to and throw the usable scratch pieces in a basket.
Digitize, digitize, digitize
When I came to a paper that I couldn’t throw away, I thought, “do I need the paper itself or the information on it?” Usually, it was the latter.
So I either scanned the paper and put it in a file on my computer (which was never again opened, by the way, time to delete that), or I would type up the notes in a Google doc. It seems that I like to write tiny notes on huge pieces of paper and then save them forever.
Recycle basket
I started this the last time we moved because I wanted to stop the “throw away barely-used paper” habit. So I grabbed a fairly deep basket and named it my “reuse/burn box.” It lives in the hall closet on top of the extra newspapers we have for starting our morning fires.
I like scribbling notes and feel better about doing it on a scratch piece of paper. It’s a good baby step, too, if you’re hesitant about throwing away papers. Once it gets full, get rid of the contents. (Anyone have good ideas for that? We can use ours for fire starter, but could you shred it and compost it or just compost it???)
Over the last year, I’ve gone from a little filing cabinet to a stuffed-to-the max accordian file thingy, to a 1/4-full accordian file thingy. My desk stays fairly clean and my table is always available for use. It’s a good feeling.
I have yet to start paying for a sitter, though.
The following is an excerpt from my new book, Simple Natural Health. It’s on it’s way to the designer for the final layout and I am so excited to share it with you!
Once upon a time, feeling terrible every day was a normal part of life. I had headaches, stomach aches and frequent nausea. My body ached and I had a near-constant rash that itched like crazy. During pregnancy, the rash took over and I spent the majority of the time scratching, wondering why on earth this was happening to me.
After my fourth (and last) child was born, I expected the rash to diminish, as it had every other time. But it didn’t. It stayed; a symbol of the bad state of my health.
I tried many treatments for it, most of them natural. Growing up on an herb farm, I had the privilege of learning about several herbal remedies that worked well for me. Many of the herbs I used provided some relief, but never went to the root of the problem.
Then, in 2010, I was sick of it. Nine months after having my son, not only was I still plagued by the itchy rash, but by the “how far along are you?” comments that made me cringe inside, then laugh it off. I decided that things had to change and that my health needed to be a top priority.
It started with being accepted into a test group for a new fitness program for married couples (affiliate link). I loved the workouts and could feel myself getting stronger. But the weight persisted, as did the rash. In fact, the rash got worse. (My husband believes that the burning fat released stored toxins into my body, making the rash more pronounced).
After six weeks, I knew that I had to address my diet. I had attempted to cut back on sugar before, thinking that maybe the rash was yeast or something fueled by sugar. But my raging sweet tooth meant that I was not very successful.
In 2011, I drastically changed my diet. Gone were any processed foods still lingering in our home – all of our meals are made from scratch now (except for those rare treats of Luna and Larry’s Coconut Bliss ice cream. Yum!). I got rid of gluten, and soon all other grains. Milk and ice cream were eliminated. And there were those terrible two weeks when I cut out eggs and cheese to make sure they weren’t the problem.
What happened after all this change? I melted. The pounds dropped off me, revealing those muscles I had been working so hard on. The rash intensified and then slowly faded away. Now, I can pinpoint the areas it will appear depending on the foods I eat.
As time goes on and this change becomes the norm, I find that food temptations are fewer and farther between. I’ve completely sworn off even tiny bites of dairy ice cream, as the ensuing stomach cramps are not something I ever want to experience again.
Is the change hard? Yes, especially if you were as steeped in the standard grain- and sweet-rich diet that I was, but it’s so worth it.
Be intentional about your health. Life is short. There’s no sense in spending it in preventable pain. Be active and enjoy the gift of free movement of your body. Nourish your body. Nourish your family. Use the resources that are so abundant in nature.
Take this journey with me.
Ready to take the journey? Join the newsletter for first dibs on the book and a special deal you won’t find anywhere else.
 - Photo credit: Annie Mole
After my initial decluttering session in 2009 (where I got rid of half of our possessions), I discovered that I would have to repeat it every six months or so if I didn’t address one major issue. Shopping.
Shopping had been such a major part of my life (sad, right?). I would shop if I needed something. I would shop when I was bored. I would shop when I was stressed about not having any money. Seriously, what was I thinking? Shopping was just what I did.
So when Ian so kindly pointed out how much shopping I still did after I initially decluttered, it hit me that I had a bit of a problem. I was a shopaholic.
Damn. I had hoped that getting rid of everything would solve the problem. Unfortunately, like many things, clutter was just a symptom of something deeper. (Thank you, Dusti, for pointing that out in The Minimalist Mom ).
I had to examine why I was shopping. It forced me to create new habits so that I would fill my time with more fulfilling, meaningful hobbies. And I had to learn how to shop all over again.
Now, I have guidelines that I try to stick to when I have a need for something. They’re simple and effective and have really diminished the amount of stuff that comes into my home.
Go without
If I decide that I need something and I need it now, I make myself wait. I give myself a week to cool off from that initial desire to see if it’s truly a need. Many times, it isn’t, so I don’t buy anything.
Find it used
If it turns out that I do need it, I try to find it used. This usually entails a post on Facebook or an email asking my friends if they’re getting rid of what I need. If they don’t, I search Craigslist or go to a few thrift stores. (Sometimes, someone will have the item and I can just borrow it when I need it. Win.)
Go without … again
If it appears that I’m going to have to suck it up and buy it new, I’ll wait it out a little longer. Seriously, I really don’t want anything coming into my house that I’m just going to get rid of in a couple months. And I’m not wasting all my time thinking about it, either.
Buy it new
When I decide that I just have to have it, I’ll go to buy it. Thankfully, it can usually be found at a place that we have a gift card to (thanks Ian’s dad) and we can get it free.
So what do you do when you’re not shopping all the time? Create. Hike. Serve. Love on your family. Create new habits that breathe life into you, rather than sucking out all of your energy. If only I would have realized this a decade ago.
Interested in building more positive habits into your life? Join the newsletter for your free download of Sustainable Change. Clean less. Create more. Live fully. Create habits that stick.
 More fun! Creating a theme for the year was not something I’d ever thought about before. Frankly, it seemed a little weird.
But I was so excited about the possibility of building more meaningful relationships, I couldn’t resist naming 2011. And wow! I already told you how it went, but wow! It was just so awesome.
That’s why I was excited to create a theme for 2012. This year, Ian was involved in the process and together we dubbed 2012: The Year of Increase. Oh yeah. That sounds great, doesn’t it?
Giving
I want to give a lot more this year. Not just money. I want to give my time to people who need it. I want my kids to be involved, too. And I want it to be creative and simple.
Adventure
Travel. Camping. Exploring. We want to do it all. We’re even planning a road-trip to Canada to visit the Gordons, with a detour in Colorado to see the Lukasaviges and Millers. It’s going to be awesome! And yes, we’re driving with all the kids. We know that’s crazy. But hey, so are we.
Income
We’ve lived in a scarcity mentality long enough. I’m tired of barely scraping by. The last few months have showed me that I’ve really been holding myself back, convinced that there’s not enough to go around. God’s economy is an abundant economy and I want to spend my time praying for more creativity instead of asking for a way to pay our rent.
Impact
My vision, my core purpose is to help people shift their thinking to create a better, more intentional way of living. It energizes me, keeps me going, fulfills me. Helping others get to the root of what matters to them and acting on it makes me come alive.
This is how I best help people and I want to do so much more of it. Shalom Mama will be the first place to see it as I plan on creating life-changing guides to help you live your best life. In fact, I just finished my first full-length ebook today! Join the newsletter so you’ll know as soon as it comes out.
Togetherness
Now that Ian is at home full-time, we spend a lot of time under the same roof. But unless we intentionally spend time together, we end up at the end of the day saying, “oh, hello, have you been here all day?” We want more togetherness – fun, games, prayer, sex – it’s all important to us.
Relationship
This is too addicting not to continue. My life is so much richer because of the people in it. This year, we want more more of that. More community. Deeper friendships. Authentic relationships.
I’m so excited, I can barely contain myself. This year is going to be BIG and I can’t wait to share it with you! Will you join me in this? I’d love to grow along side you, helping you integrate more intentional action into your life. If you’re interested, join the newsletter for your free download, Sustainable Change, and leave a comment below with your theme for 2012.
Shalom!
My Sister Root, Megan, and her hubby Justin. When I dubbed 2011 The Year of Building Relationships, I had no idea it would be so rich. I thought that I might make a couple new friends and talk to existing ones a bit more often, but it was so much more than that.
The people that I met last year have made a huge difference in my life, cementing my belief that meaningful relationships are a crucial part of a life of purpose. I’m so grateful for the new relationships and the old ones that were strengthened, my marriage included.
In short, 2011 was freaking amazing.
I have to admit, though, it was challenging. I’m naturally pretty quiet. Ok, painfully shy and introverted. But I was done with that. If I could come out of my shell, there was no reason why I couldn’t enjoy the beautiful abundance that is a life full of meaningful relationships.
And you can, too. It just takes a little intentional action.
Decide who
Who do you want to be friends with? I know this sounds weird, but think about it. Who do you normally mesh really well with? That’s not to say you can’t develop friendships with people who are different than that “ideal” but if you want to make new friends, it helps to know what you’re looking for.
This year, I connected with a lot of people who are intentional about how their wellness and are actively pursuing a life of purpose. Was this a conincidence? No. I was looking for those people. And the connections we’ve made are pretty awesome.
Find them
Ok, this is why you need to know who you’re looking for, because that will help you find them. Are they taking their kiddos to library story time? (That’s where I met Terri). Or are they hanging out at farmers markets or a local coffee shop? Make a point to hang out there and see what happens.
Say hello
Yep, nothing will happen if you don’t approach someone. Though, they might approach you (like Megan approached me), this is generally not the case. You know how it is, we moms are so busy counting heads we would miss it if a clown was jumping around in a bright yellow jumper.
But. We need friends, sometimes lament about not having meaningful relationships and would really appreciate someone saying hello.
Extend an invitation
This is starting to sound a lot like dating. Or marketing. But really, it’s all the same. If you say hello and chat a bit and think that you would like to get to know this person better, ask her to hang out for coffee. Or go to the park. Or some place where you’re both comfortable and can talk more.
Keep working at it
Friendships, like marriage, take work. They need to be nurtured. One cup of coffee must become ten cups of coffee and a few potluck dinners. It takes intentional action on both sides. Otherwise, they’ll just fade away.
Note: Sometimes, despite efforts, friendships don’t work out. It’s ok. Sometimes, the ones that you’re sure will, don’t, and the unlikely ones flourish. That’s great. You’ve just got to put yourself out there to find out what will happen.
Repeat.
Other note: If I meet someone randomly that I think is cool, and keep seeing them around town, I decide that I keep running into them because I need to get to know them more (like Jenny). Just be aware of those coinciGodical meetings.
Final note (I promise): Read How to Win Friends and Influence People. It’s incredibly helpful and will make interacting with others easier.
What are your tips for building new relationships?
Today’s post comes from Jenn Mostek, a sweet mama and fellow doula. She’s graciously decided to share some crafty tips with me. Stop by her blog and say hello and be sure to check out her beautiful creations on her Etsy page.
It’s not easy to make time for yourself when you have little ones. By the time you finish cleaning, doing laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, playing with your babies and reading Dr. Seuss, whew! You are pooped and forgot to include sometime for yourself which is very important for your well being and sanity:)
I love being able to stay at home with my son, but I also make sure to find the time to release through my creative outlet (jewelry making, crocheting, knitting, sewing). Want to be a crafty mama but not quite sure how?
Here are some tip’s:
Crafting doesn’t have to be an expensive hobby. There are ton’s of DIY tutorials on the internet! Up-cycle and create handmade item’s of your own. For example, use old sweaters and cut the sleeves to make leg warmers or arm warmers, then use the body to make a skirt ( some light sewing involved but simple).
Teach yourself to crochet or knit (youtube is a great starting place). Print out a 50% coupon from Joanns website and purchase a skein of yarn and a crochet hook for under $4. Once again there are lot’s of free patterns on the internet (Crochet pattern central or Knitting pattern central are good sites). Make beanies for your little one’s or for yourself. Beanies make great gift’s and are uniquely made by you!
Decorate mason jars with twine or burlap, roll some rosette flower’s, hot glue them to a mason jar, and place an LED candle in the jar. Perfect for adding a bit of ambience to your home.
Bath salt’s, lotion’s, sugar scrubs are great to make for yourself or for gifts! With so many chemical’s in our everyday bath products it’s nice to make something out of 5 ingredients. Tipnut has some great recipes for inexpensive handmade bath products. One great recipe for a bath soak is to ground up 2 cup’s of non instant oatmeal, add 1 cup of dead sea salt (craft store) and a few drop’s of essential oil. Store in an airtight container (mason jar) and use whenever you want to enjoy a great soak!
Find time during your day whether that be during nap time, after kiddos go to bed, or ask hubby for some you time to create:)
Crafting started out as a hobby for me and now is a part-time job. I sell jewelry for a local boutique that supports solely handmade items, and I love every minute of it.
If you decide that you are passionate about your handmade items and want to start selling them, look into Etsy(this is where I started).
Tip for selling on Etsy: take photos in good natural light, and make sure your description is detailed, since your customers cannot touch the product they want. Don’t forget to check out local businesses and see if they might be interested in supporting local handmade items.
I know life can be busy and we as mamas have enormous responsibilities, but instead of doing the dishes during nap time put your feet up and chain 4, slip stitch, and relax.
Jenn Mostek is a wife, mama and doula living in beautiful central Oregon. She enjoys sewing, knitting, crocheting, photography,reading, being inspired, baby einstein, birth, sweet little baby feet, running, hiking, good food, music, friends, good movies, making jewelry, cooking…..! She writes at Made by Jenn. Her Etsy store of the same name, can be found here.
If creativity is a habit you’d like to develop, join the newsletter for the free download, Sustainable Change, to clean less, create more and live fully.
 I love Christmas. The anticipation, the togetherness, the delicious food. Then Christmas day comes and it’s a wonderful day of celebration.
But when it’s over, frankly, I feel a little deflated. Because I want it to keep going.
Well, it can. Yep. This year, I discovered A Natural Noel, by Michele Augur. It’s a book that helps make the 12 days of Christmas more meaningful by being intentional as a family.
But wait? Aren’t the 12 days of Christmas before December 25th? Nope.
The 12 days of Christmas begin on Christmas Day and lead up to January 6th, the day of Epiphany, when the wise men visited the baby Jesus.
(I cannot hear the words “baby Jesus” without an image of Darryl Hannah holding a wreath full of baby Jesus’ popping into my head).
This fun little ebook offers suggestions for families to remember this time and keep the celebration going. There are short verses, simple craft ideas and learning opportunities. I love that everything is super simple, which Michele did on purpose because she wanted to keep it relaxed and fun.
Here’s an example of the first day (definitely in my own words):
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree…
The partridge refers to the baby Jesus (there it goes again!) and God’s gift to us. Learn more about birds and do some fun bird-related crafts together, like make a pine cone bird feeder. We did this last summer and the kids had a blast. Ok, so did I. While you’re looking for pine cones, keep an eye out for different birds.
I have to confess, crafts kind of intimidate me. Truly. I want to do them and then I get really overwhelmed with how involved they are and all of the supplies you need to gather. Really, I just get lazy. (And that, ladies, is the true reason why I stopped using Isaac’s kindergarten curriculum).
I like that this doesn’t require a lot of planning to pull off.
I also really love the going outside as a family aspect, which is something I always say I want to do. But then it gets shoved to the back burner until I’m putting the kids to bed and realize that I didn’t do it … again.
Another confession – I just don’t know what to do! I’m really not the best at spontaneous play (I’m trying to grow here!). But “go outside and look at birds,” I can do that!
If you want to be more mindful of spending time together as a family and keep the Christmas-goodness going just a little bit longer, purchase a copy of A Natural Noel (affiliate link). It’s only $6.95 and you’ll get instant access to the download. You’ll love how pretty and simple the layout is and, hopefully, create some new traditions for your family.
I also invite you to get a copy of Sustainable Change, my action guide that helps you create (healthy) habits that stick. It’s totally free and you also get a complementary e-course that takes you through each step to make those changes. Please sign up here.
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