Breaking Free From Survival Mode

At the end of October, my husband quit his job.

It was a long time coming and I was so excited about it. I was also terrified.

How we were going to pay for everything? We had just gotten to a point of having more than enough and it was wiped away with a single phone call.

The initial euphoria of the decision ended and I got really, really stressed out.

Naturally, my wonderful body did what it was made to do under such stressful situations. It went into survival mode, helping me to handle the stress of the transition.

Unfortunately for me, survival mode = weight gain. Immediately after Ian quit his job, there were days when I had no appetite. But my body had me covered, and stored little bits of each meal away to protect me from starvation.

A few months later I realized that my clothes no longer fit. The strength that I had built up was gone. My energy was nil. I couldn’t do a push up anymore. I felt terrible.

And then people started asking me if I was pregnant. Ugh. No. All of the hard work that went into getting fit and strong had gone out the window.

But if I got there before, I can get there again.

Time to thrive

A few weeks ago, I took measurements. And photos. I chose a fitness plan and started a journal. Then I hopped into the shower, looked at my body and told it thank you.

I thanked it for taking such good care of me, for protecting me against all of the stress. I said that I accept it as it is right now.

And then I told it that it didn’t have to do it anymore because survival mode is over.

It was so symbolic for me, because really, for the last several years I felt like I was always in survival mode. Frantically living from paycheck to paycheck, wondering how 1 + 1 was going to equal 24. Our math always indicated that financial disaster was just around the corner.

But it was always averted and I’ve learned that there must be faith to move forward. Faith in God. Faith in myself. Faith that I was created to thrive and make a difference.

Survival mode is a distraction, one that keeps us from focusing on what we can do to improve our lives and the lives of those around us, because we’re so busy concentrating on today’s disaster.

I could easily lay on my bed and cry about the giant spare tire around my waist or our (perceived) lack of money. Trust me, I have and all it did was make me feel worse.

I’ve got to do something to get out of this. I have to take a step in the right direction. Because, so often, my response is to do nothing at all and survival mode perpetuates.

I choose a life that’s better than that.

We can’t move forward until we accept where we are and take action.

{photo credit: breahn}

Lovely Links: Lessons for NonConformists

Throughout the week, I come across a lot of great content in the form of videos, blog posts and books. So I thought I’d share some inspiring links with you today.

(And a photo of this really cute kid I know…)

Uh, mom, can you take this off?

I hope they’ll make you think and inspire you to action, as they’ve done for me.

9 Essential Skills Kids Should Learn

The $100 Startup trailer (and the book)

The Great NonConformist Hoax

Sometimes what kids need most from us is nothing at all

Happy Mother’s Day!

Can Ordinary Moms Change the World?

I’ve been feeling … discontent lately. Aching to do something in a big way to make my mark in this world. Feeling like I’m not doing anything at all to pursue my calling. And frankly, getting really pissed off about it.

My heart is with mothers and babies.

I guess I could blame it on movies and the media, but I just want to do something extraordinary. I get wrapped up in the idea that doing good in this world means doing it in a huge, awesome way.

I want to go to Africa and deliver babies. I want to create a business of some kind that helps orphans and widows, like Suzette at Love41, but in my own unique way.

I want to travel and experience other cultures with my husband and kids. I want to help other unconventional moms break free of conformity and live life more intentionally.

And yet, I get so discouraged after I clean up a muddy toddler for the third time in an hour. It makes me feel like if I were only better, if I only worked harder, then my dream would be realized.

Thus begins the spiral into the deep loneliness. And I stay there, until a small nudging reminds me that I haven’t said “thank you” in days.

So I begin to give thanks, frantically at first – thank you for air, food, shelter – until I feel the lightening in my soul and deep gratitude comes flooding back in.

That one simple act, gratitude, opens my eyes to what I really have, to who I really am: an ordinary radical who’s changing the world. One snuggle, one blog post, one prenatal appointment at a time.

Accepting where I am right now and enjoying the moment doesn’t mean that I’m giving up on a dream. Those desires just get stronger, desires that I believe God himself has placed there. But forcing them won’t work.

Trust me, I try and I try and I try. But using force to bring a dream to life is like trying to push your baby out before you’re fully dilated – it’s painful, exhausting and will only set you back.

But, like with labor, when you relax, breathe and stay in the moment, that’s when you find yourself in transition, about to accomplish a huge feat that you’ve been waiting forever for.

You must accept where you are before you can move forward.

Intentional Mom Project

I’m doing something a little different today… I recorded a video! (So scary for me, by the way, but I did it!)

Here it is: (If that doesn’t work, you can find it here. I’m often challenged by embedding video.)

I’m a list maker, so I had to make a list of ideas for spending more special time with my kids:

• Play games/puzzles together
• Snuggle and read stories
• Mama & kiddo “coffee” date
• Play tag at the park
• Dig for worms together (I’d much rather catch frogs, though )
• Build forts with the bunk beds
• Play hide and seek
• Cooking together (without stressing about it)

Would you like to join me in being more intentional as a mom this May?

Leave a comment below and let me know.

Bringing Life to Dreams

I live on a busy street. I wake up every morning to the sound of the bus screeching to a halt. The kids that have been standing on the corner laughing loudly and pushing each other around clammer onboard.

Guest author Claudia Good

As it revs up and pulls away, the quiet resumes for about 3 seconds. It is soon followed by a hot rod car that pulls to a stop outside my house at 7 o’clock each morning. It peals away, revving the motor as loud as it will go.

This is how my morning starts every week day.

Today I wondered what it would be like to live in a place that is completely quiet. Where you could hear the wind blow through the trees on a daily basis.

Completely quiet, so I could hear my mind think without needing more sound to block out the noise.

I grew up in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Through the summer, I would routinely fall asleep to the sound of crickets and only crickets. What a glorious way to drift off into sleep.

I often dream of living somewhere quiet again. Somewhere where I could fall asleep to the sound of crickets.

I thought about this more. I thought about my dream and then realized that I often do only that. I dream, and then follow through with… nothing.

No action. No, “Well, let’s figure out a way to make that dream become reality.” It just stays exactly there. Just a dream.

I actually often dismiss my dreams as wishes and therefore file them away as unimportant, especially as a mom. There seem to be so many more important things than to sit and dream about how to accomplish my dreams. Therefore, they get pushed down and forgotten about.

For years my dreams were ignored and replaced with other things.

I recently realized this doesn’t have to be!

It is not all or nothing! I can be a mom and still have dreams and pursue them. How very small I think! How small I dream. How very small we view our capabilities and opportunities.

If I want to live in a quiet place, I can! The only one stopping me is me and my small thinking.

I have decided to re-awaken my dreams! I am finding ways to pursue them. I am planning on ways to accomplish them. I have a vision and have laid out the steps I need to take to make them come into existence.

I am dreaming again and it is a wonderful thing!

Join me!

Question: Do you have dreams that you’ve pushed aside?