I know, I know, I’m taking the summer off. But this post has been on my mind for quite some time. For the last couple of years I haven’t been … me. At least, not fully me with most people. I’ll explain.
I’ve always been highly intuitive. When I was a kid, I found that I could put my hands on someone and feel where they hurt. So naturally, I thought maybe I should be a massage therapist since I was really good at it (my hands just knew what to do to make it feel better). And then I realized I’d probably have to rub a lot of hairy people. So I changed my mind.
When I was younger, I also had a very close relationship with God. I prayed throughout the day and often received an answer of some kind right away. So naturally, I thought maybe I should be a nun since that’s kind of what they do (I was raised Catholic). And then I realized I couldn’t get married or have kids. So I changed my mind.
Fast forward 12 or so years, past a whole lot of life experiences, to a me who had lost that beautiful, simple faith because I got so swept up in the rules of church and feeling that I had to present myself a certain way to be accepted.
I felt lost.
A couple years ago, in a last-minute trip to Arizona, I found myself at an Access Consciousness Bars class. I had no idea what this was, but my friend invited me and it felt like the right move. So I went and holy wow. Not only did I see that there were other people out there with similar gifts, but the chronic back pain I had was gone after the two sessions you receive as a requirement of the class.
I wanted to know more.
Since then, I’ve been learning and reading and taking classes. But (mostly) in secret because I was also trying to work through this as a follower of Christ. And as I’ve gotten back to that simple faith, I’ve been able to discern when something is spirit-led and when it’s not.
With Access Consciousness, for instance, I’m now a certified BARS facilitator and practitioner, which means I can do sessions for people and teach them how to do it as well. But. I don’t agree with everything in their manual but I have seen this modality work time and time again, they’re perspective has actually deepened my faith and it has been an excellent way to share my gifts with others.
I’m learning to eat the fish and spit out the bones, so to speak.
I’m finding my way back to that simple, spirit-led faith. Plus coming out of the closet as a mystic. Actually, I’m a (sorta) woo-woo, always curious, energy-healing mystic who probably swears too much. I’ve been toying around with making my official job title “Mystical Fairy.” 😉 Really, I’m just being ME and done hiding it.
And in sharing this, I understand that:
1. This will not resonate with some of you and that’s okay. I share this with you because I want to be authentic with my readers and I know that I’m not for everyone (which has taken me far too long to accept). Also, the blog will most likely shift directions a bit in the future and I don’t want that to be a surprise.
2. You might want to reach out and warn me and tell me I’m hurting my family and going to hell. And please don’t. Some already have and not from a place of love, but one of condemnation, not looking to offer guidance. I’ve been working through this for quite some time, seeking counsel, prayer and guidance from those who are strong in their faith and their advice has been the same:
If this is where you feel the spirit leading you, go with it, prayerfully, and keep your eyes on God. So I am.
If it’s time for us to part ways, I understand. And thank you so much for being with me.
If this resonates, awesome! Let’s go forward together. And be sure to sign up for the newsletter for more updates.
Until next time,
p.s. As I was writing this post a friend called me to let me now that the faith-based energy-healing program she and a friend have been working on is finally ready and to invite me to take part. How does it get any better than that?